HBO’s GIRLS, GIRLS AND PHILOSOPHY, and my world

HBO’s GIRLS has captivated my attention entirely. The show provides commentary on the millennial generation in a unique way and surprises me with themes that often are not discussed in my world outside of close personal friendships. I choose to watch the show because it allows me to form my own opinions around the definition of reality, forcing me to think and draw conclusions. Too often I am finding that today’s television is mind numbing and does not force the viewer to think critically as they consume the entertainment. Now I find myself diving into GIRLS AND PHILOSOPHY which is comprised of several philosophical critiques of the show and would like to share some of my own thoughts on HBO’s GIRLS and GIRLS AND PHILOSOPHY because contrary to popular belief I don’t think that Hannah Horvath or Lena Dunham is the voice of our generation or even a generation.

Hannah Horvath is so consumed by her own personal experience that she believes that her experience could speak for the experiences of an entire generation. Yes, many of her experiences are easy to relate to, but I think that is it is so self absorbed for Hannah to believe that her individual experiences formed in her world could speak on behalf of the experiences of an entire generation.  It does not sit well with me that Hannah does not consider individuality. I recently had a conversation with someone close to me and he pointed out the necessity of respecting everyone’s problems no matter the size of their problem, as everything in this regard is relative. Hannah emphasizes how relative problems are when she exclaims, “you should be grateful I am not a drug dealer” to her parents when she doesn’t get her way. Sympathy should not be owed only to those whom you have deemed worthy of your sympathy. I believe that someone truly sympathetic is sympathetic to all and not only sympathetic to those who have struggles that relate to their world because they understand those struggles or those whom they have deemed worthy of their sympathy. There is no sympathy in Lena’s writing for others (only sympathy towards herself) and it bothers me that Hannah seems proud to portray the millennial generation as extremely entitled and self absorbed. I have been working really hard in my world in an attempt to fight these stereotypes. 

I do however, appreciate Lena for her writing and her fearlessness to write shamelessly. As previously mentioned, I truly did enjoy both HBO’s GIRLS and GIRLS AND PHILOSOPHY. I just caution viewers to take the content in this show with a grain of salt and consider that Hannah’s experiences do not speak for an entire generation but are rather just a depiction of her personal experiences in her world.

–@nlatter

What’s so great about volunteering?

There was a time when I thought that volunteering was for over achievers and people who desperately needed help making friends. Which sounds mean (because it is) but I simply didn’t see the value. This was during a time when my philosophy for how to spend my time and ultimately live my life was highly utilitarian and the things that did fill my time had to have something in it for me. Motivated solely by the generation of my own happiness, I found myself on the outside looking in on volunteering opportunities. My perspective seemed to be that volunteering appeared to be really hard work and you didn’t even get paid for performing. Therefore, volunteering wouldn’t directly benefit me in any way. So then, obviously I wasn’t that interested…at the time.

“The less they pay you, the more they will ask you to do”

The above quote was spoken by a female business leader in my company and there are no truer words around volunteering. The statement really doesn’t seem to exude optimism, initially anyways. It is true that once a volunteer group recognizes that you as a volunteer are competent and reliable the list of tasks requested of you will only grow. So you do need be assertive and learn how to say “no” if it becomes too much. However, this type of reaction from other volunteers truly emphasizes the value that you can bring as a volunteer.

It wasn’t until I started volunteering in positions that related to my passions and put me in scenarios where my skills could really add value to the lives of others that I began to understand how volunteering had the potential to become a highly meaningful part of my life. I began to recognize how volunteering truly was able to increase the quality of others lives as well as my own, aid in the development of my soft business skills and help me to shape my own personal identity beyond my job title.

My favorite volunteer experience thus far has been becoming involved in Junior Achievement. Junior Achievement is a non-profit organization that has been inspiring and preparing youth to succeed by providing opportunities to learn financial literacy, entrepreneurship and work readiness skills by engaging programs through the help of dedicated volunteers. I became involved as a Company Advisor. Five to six advisors were assigned to teams of 25 high school students to assist them in starting and liquidating their own business while competing for Company of the Year with other teams of students just like ours (the picture on the right features a few of our student team members). I get really excited about entrepreneurship and to see that the students were so eager to learn and involve themselves in the program got me excited to attend every week. I did find the experience highly time consuming (especially once I became Lead Company Advisor because our lead lost interest) but it was a sacrifice that was very worth while. Some say that being busy is relative and that once you are doing something that you love you develop time affluence because you are enjoying yourself and thriving in your work. It was simply fantastic to be involved in a team setting and really get to know the other advisors and students in such a meaningful way by sharing an experience. I could recognize that my efforts were making a difference and I was able to make powerful contributions to the group.

Volunteering has taught me networking skills, informal leadership skills, and has provided me with new opportunities and an expanded perspective of other individuals circumstances. For this I am forever grateful and I hope that along the way I have been able to inspire others to pursue community involvement through volunteering.

–@nlatter

 

The New Year’s Resolution Post

My little cousin was running around over Christmas trying to get everyone to play with his present, he got a new product called bean boozles where all of the jelly beans appear the same but some are gross flavors and other ones are enjoyable. His bean boozles reminded me of Harry Potter’s Bertie Bott’s flavor beans. I have a special appreciation for the Harry Potter series as many do, I even find myself randomly quoting the books. There is one magical concept in particular that managed to really grasp my attention above all of the other unique ideas found in the Harry Potter series. My life would change entirely if I owned a time turner. It is a necklace used by Hermione Granger that allows a wizard to turn back time and change the past. Hermione simply uses the time turner to attend additional classes but if I were to own a time turner I would probably use it a little differently.

In the past taking the time to try new things has tended to be a really positive experience for me. However, an excuses that always seem to come to mind are along the lines of “but will I have enough time for another commitment?”. It is extremely challenging to find the time for trying new things. The truth of the matter is that I am able to find the time to do things that are truly important to me.

This new year I resolved to spend more time at the gym as everyone has but more importantly I resolved to be less selfish with my time. While I was completing my degree I had a tendency to make excuses that I needed more time to study if I didn’t really wanna spend my time doing something. I realize that this habit wasn’t fair to those around me. I would love to spend more time with my family, volunteering with junior achievement, reading fiction novels and also spend time trying new things.

Hopefully the time turner is invented soon but until then I will just have to make an active effort to avoid making excuses. Hopefully my resolution to be less selfish with my time changes my life for the better.

–@nlatter

Don’t worry be hapa

I have wanted to write about my split cultural identity for a while but procrastinated because I wasn’t entirely sure what I had to say about it. I have received many responses, including all: praise, ignorance and indifference in response to my ethnicity. Therefore, it has been challenging for me personally to sort out exactly how I feel about both my own identity. I realize now that the racial identity that I was given at birth is part of something much larger than myself. Being of mixed ethnic heritage is a physical symbol of societal change.

hapa: a term used to describe a person of mixed ethnic heritage

My personal experience growing up hapa (a half and half mixture of Chinese and Caucasian) has been unique as the Asian half can be difficult for others to identify or notice right off the bat. Many people do not even notice that I am any race other than Caucasian. I have received many comments that suggest that I have somehow overcome stereotypes to fit into white society because I am either white washed or not quite like “them”. Which I believe I received as a compliment when I was younger because I deeply wanted to feel inclusion and didn’t quite understand the underlying racism being expressed through those comments.

In the past a pregnant co-workers expecting a half and half child asked me in confidence about my experience growing up as they worried for their own child’s ability to fit in and understand their identity. Other kids in my junior high asked me why I don’t look like my mom or if I was adopted. As a baby I looked very Asian and my Dad is Caucasian. Going through the airport he was accused of stealing me and slipping me something so I would sleep deeply. Since my Mom was not with us on the flight we were held up for hours. He showed security photos of our family but was still heavily questioned for travelling with an Asian baby that “couldn’t possibly be his”. Of all of the experiences that I have had explaining my identity to others I often just laugh about what has happened as most of the situations I have been in have been relatively harmless, thus far. It wasn’t until just recently that I started to pick up on some of the underlying racism in comments I received. It bothers me now.

Someone I had known for about two weeks found out in passing that I was half and half. They were very surprised as I suppose they hadn’t thought about it as it wasn’t obvious in my appearance. Their initial reaction included, “I hope I haven’t said anything to offend you before!”. In the moment I am sure that I just laughed at their surprised realization. Thinking about it later their reaction translates to… “I am sometimes racist but selectively and only in front of a group of trusted individuals”, “note to self: to be careful in front of Nikki moving forward”.

Apart from these sorts of incidents, people are fairly comfortable with my mixed ethnicity. I personally find it a joy that I get to be a part of two cultures, there are more holidays to celebrate and I have hapa cousins whom I can relate to and talk out any mixed feelings that I may have. On my trip to Vancouver in August I heard about some events going on regarding a hapa festival! Also, I am seeing a huge online presence from other hapa individuals: http://hapavoice.com/

All of this being said I can sense a movement of change gradually coming. Society is beginning to overcome their fear of things that are different and what they may or may not understand or be able to fit into neat boxes. If you have to identify with an ethnicity on a form now you can choose multiple boxes. It is a simple feat but I can not tell you how much better that makes me feel. I never wanted to choose between my races growing up and I shouldn’t ever have to. I think that growing up hapa is a blessing and I wish to act as a symbol moving forward that love overcomes racism, that it is okay to be different and that everyone’s identity is entirely unique.

The video below discusses both adoption and mixed ethnicity. I really appreciate the personal stories and optimism for the future included in the video. As usual, great work Buzzfeed Video!

The best leaders know how much they don’t know

This past weekend I spent some time out in Kananaskis sleeping in a bunk bed surrounded by 60 other business students each also out of their comfort zone. The experience was definitely unique. I didn’t know what to expect but I did recognize the value in developing soft business skills to become a better team member, which drew me to participate. Little did I know that I was a leader and I would need to set goals upon my return home in order to realize my leadership potential.

I was reminded of many important ideas…

• Not everyone follows the same path or contributes in the same way
• First a leader must lead themselves
• Leadership takes many forms beyond directive leadership

I thought that I would be learning about leadership qualities and leaders that I should aspire to become. Instead I spent a lot of time this past weekend learning about myself. Learning about what I value, how I work with a team, how I can enhance the leadership qualities I already posses. As a leader I bring value through knowledge, rational thinking, forward thinking/ planning, organization and inclusion of others. I realized that these traits may tempt me to work with people who possess the same skills that I possess. In reality I would be best to work with a team of other individuals who have skills different than the skills that I have. The creative type might get a headache working with someone who likes to work with checklists but the best final project would come from the collaboration of both of these qualities.

Besides all of the things I learned about myself my favourite part of the weekend was the communication norms that we had established as a group at the beginning of the weekend. The group respected each others ideas, welcomed meaningful conversations and strived to work together. We did not have preconceived ideas about each other and valued the unique contribution that each person was able to bring to the table.

I left leadership challenge weekend more well prepared to be a good team member moving forward and inspired to develop my leadership potential.

The biggest mistake I ever made

I practiced day in and day out. Saying my parts of the presentation in the mirror over and over for the last three days didn’t matter now. I could feel my hands shaking around my cue cards and there was nothing that I could do about it. I told myself to breathe. Then I made a weird noise in between my sentences. My lines jumbled out of my mouth in a weird order. I took a moment to look at the PowerPoint screen behind me. I don’t think that I was supposed to do that. Hopefully I didn’t look for very long but I’m not sure what happened. “And now my partner will discuss the next few slides”. I’m done. I hated that.

Behold, the great mistake I ever made wasn’t turning around to look at the slides momentarily. The biggest mistake I ever made was caring about what other people think. It can be easy to become victim to our insecurities. However, letting insecurities take over and manipulate your choices only holds you back.

Public speaking remains the number one phobia. There are sharks, lions and bears in the world. I think that pin pointing exactly what makes public speaking so challenging is what will help us conquer our fear. It is our insecurities and not the act of public speaking itself that is challenging.

Then I realized that people do not actually care about what I am doing as much as I thought. Mind blowing. I can’t say that I have overcome my insecurities and now public speaking is a walk in the park…. but it gets easier every time I practice.

–@nlatter

3 Ways to Achieve the Optimal Amount of Stress

Eustress: occurs when the gap between what one has and what one wants is slightly pushed, but not overwhelmed. It is the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings.

Ambitious people tend to busy their lives in order to consistently strive towards meeting goals. However, the consistent strive for success can grow wearisome on even the strongest and most determined people. The following three simple strategies have been proven to help manage stress and maintain eustress:

Variety

Goals can be achieved in a balanced lifestyle. Having other aspects of life to work on simultaneously can keep you from burning out if one aspect of your life is not working out that at the time. Work experience in a different field or different groups of friends can grow you in a way that you would not expect. Focusing on one area of life and not diverting your attention in any other activities can be risky because if that aspect is not working out it can lead to burn out when there is nothing else to fall back on.

Sleep

Yes, staying up into the wee hours of the night to finish your favorite TV show series so that you can cry about it after is really fun but you will be paying for it for the next day… next week. After an 8+ hour night sleep you could conquer the world. Try it for a whole week and see what happens. If you have trouble sleeping at night try getting exercise during the day or not eating after 8. All of these suggestions are extremely radical and impossible but small improvements and making better choices every so often pays off. Step 1) Get a good sleep. Step 2) Conquer the world.

Plan Ahead

This one happens to come naturally to me but I know that it can be very challenging for many people. Planning ahead may not work for everybody but it is like having secret knowledge into the future. Scheduling and planning enables me to see when upcoming busy times will be and then I know how to schedule my time strategically in order to avoid extremely busy periods time as best as possible.

If the whole world was in a state of eustress imagine what we could accomplish. It is extremely exciting to be a dream chaser and maintaining a state of eustress is the best long term plan to make that happen!

–@nlatter

‘Red Echo Date’ #3

I can relate to @MyRedPage when she discusses how the best moments of her life were when she left her comfort zone. Significant things happen you leave your own safe space and reach for more. Very inspirational!

MyRedPage

Welcome back to ‘One quote…endless stories’:)

I’ve read this quote a few times and it made think…is it true?!

Do we truly begin to live when we step out of the shade?

If I think back to the most important moments in my life, they all are a manifestation of overcoming a challenge…an achievement after pushing the boundaries…a decision made after endless weighting of possibilities…a moment when I’ve considered a risk and I felt that my life will take a turn for the better if I’ll follow it.

What is your comfort zone?

Sometimes I feel that I live in my own bubble and the outside world is far from my reach… but then comes a point when I feel the need to escape…to experience a different reality from the one I call my own…I guess those are the seconds when life truly flows between my veins.

It is hard…

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The value of mentorship

To my mentors,

Without your guidance I do not know where I would be today.

My education has been a journey and having people that are open to sharing advice, answering questions and supporting me has been invaluable.

If I have learned anything it is that you can have more than one mentor. Plus, people are busy, so if you can spread your attention between a variety of people you can see more perspectives and relate to different mentors in different areas of your interest. A mentor does not need to be the perfect match and have absolutely everything in common with you. Of course, it is nice to have some common ground in areas to relate at first but as you learn and grow together in your mentorship relationship you will find value in ways that you didn’t realize initially.

2 favorite tips my 4th year mentor shared with me:

• If someone asks to sit down with you at a networking event, always say yes!
• When you first meet someone engage with them by giving them your full attention because first impressions are extrmely important

I know that these tips may see simplistic but when you are at a networking event and there is a lot of commotion it can be challenging to make the most of each encounter. Her tips resonated with me and now help me remember these important things in the heat of the moment. In addition to these tips my mentor taught me how to be a successful woman in the business world. How to make my presence known when I am in a business meeting, to know that my voice matters, and to have the confidence that my thoughts add value to a conversation.

Fostering a relationship with someone that is really interested in mentoring can be so rewarding. Whether it is your first professional relationship or you are very experienced with professional relationships a mentor will be there to listen, inspire thought provoking conversation and help you to realize new opportunities you may not have considered previsiously.

I highly recommend mentorship programs and I hope to give back as a mentor one day myself.

Are you an ambivert?

“There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum.” – Carl G Jung

I am here to introduce a balance to the spectrum, the ambivert. Screw you, Myers-Briggs and your questionable meaningless-ness for trying to categorize me as an introvert or an extrovert. I am lost okay. I am neither introverted or extroverted, maybe I am both, depending on how you look at it. Things aren’t so black and white especially not when you are trying to define people in a quick 70 question assessment.

An ambivert can wanna hangout with friends but just for a few hours, not a few days. The ambivert will always have plans but maybe question at the last minute whether they have the energy to fulfill the plans but rarely actually bail on their friends. Meeting new people will always be exciting to an ambivert but at the same time they will admit that they were shy at first and it took internal effort to hangout.